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Is Northwestern Good or is Nebraska in a Grim State of Psychological Collapse
Lost in the thrum of the opener this season in the midst of clumsily shoehorned Irish references and the excitement from a stadium losing control of its payment system to douse spectators in unlimited...
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Questions Asked, Questions Answered
Last week, the central question from this blog other than why I continue to post increasingly more deranged stories about a fictional NCAA pants inspector to diminishing returns was whether...
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Hey! Wha Happen?
Sometime on Saturday afternoon, Northwestern lost a football game to the Southern Illinois Salukis. I did not know this happened. I spent the day oblivious to the ominous things happening just up the...
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A Loss So Bad They're Destroying the Stadium
Northwestern's nightmare season continued under the lights at Ryan Field last Saturday when Miami of Ohio beat a Big Ten team for the first time since 2003. That team was also Northwestern. The...
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Soaked
There is a small but extremely twisted slice of football fans in the United States who, like me, follow both the Northwestern Wildcats and the Chicago Bears, and since Pat Fitzgerald has taken over it...
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Well This Is Bad
Northwestern football is not particularly fun at the moment. While the 'Cats managed to hang around in all of their losses to the point where it seemed possible that they could, with some luck,...
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Had 'Em In The First Half
Northwestern was leading at the half. They were stopping Maryland and its backup quarterback from moving the ball and they were finding first downs and the endzone and all of this looked like a...
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Not Gross Enough
Last week's game against Iowa was the most promising one on Northwestern's remaining schedule not because the 'Cats had any better chance to win than any of their other games but because of the hope...
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High Winds Actors
There is one way to characterize this Northwestern football season that is not miserable and depressing and that is to think of it as a prolonged experiment in how much of a minor natural disaster it...
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A Hat? In This Economy?
If you can say one positive thing about the 2022 Northwestern football season is that it is mercifully over. The Wildcats are nursing a single win over Nebraska, they will have their worst season...
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Holy Shit Northwestern Is In The Actual NCAA Tournament
At the beginning of this basketball season, Northwestern sent out an email with a video of a bearded Chris Collins in a windowless office imploring fans to come out and support the team that looked...
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Please dont put in the newspaper that i got march mad
In 2017, Northwestern went to the NCAA tournament and challenged Vanderbilt to a three-hour heart attack. After every play, the camera cut to Doug Collins, who appeared to be suffering the effects of...
View ArticleThe Pat Fitzgerald Era Ends In Tawdry Shrek Humping Scandal
On Thursday, Pat Fitzgerald was history's least-embattled 1-11 college football coach preparing for the final season in the recognizable Big Ten. Three days later, the university where he was so...
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College Football's Spite Season
The big story in college football this offseason has been the rapid rearrangement of conferences. It looks like a small child has shaken out a bin with action figures and all of a sudden there is an...
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Somehow A Northwestern-Rutgers Game Is Even More Of A Catastrophe
The college football calendar is harsh and unyielding so when Northwestern football spends the past two months mired in an escalating series of shocking, grotesque, and embarrassing scandals that...
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Northwestern Self-Imposes Walking Death Penalty
There was a time when watching/fast forwarding through Sunday’s game when it looked like Rutgers wouldn’t punt. Normally a person who has ascended to the level of derangement where they are watching a...
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On "On American Soil"
The times you see someone using the phrase “on American soil” in 2023 are in a Congressional hearing where a representative named something like Ladd Hacklin gets incredibly angry about children’s toys...
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The P.J. Fleck Fiction Issue
Northwestern came off the high of its commanding victory over UTEP, an important win that indicated that the Wildcats would be closer to normal bad this season rather than apocalyptically bad. The...
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Northwestern Won a Second Game
It sure did not look like Northwestern would win a Big Ten game this season, and the Wildcats did little to dispel that notion as they headed into the fourth quarter down 31-10 in a bleak and abandoned...
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The Matt Rhules: A Guide to Success on the Football Field and in Life
Northwestern emerges from its bye week looking like something nearly impossible to imagine at the beginning of the season: a normal sort of crummy Big Ten West team. The last two games were about...
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