Clik here to view.
The Maniacs Blew It Up
There is a point that I get to any time I play the baroque soccer management game “Football Manager” in the dregs of semi-professional leagues where I have to decide whether to sell off the contract...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Mergers and Acquisitions
The consolidation of college football's most powerful teams into a superconference at this point seems inevitable. Once the college football powers that be had four playoff teams, the question became...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Who Knows
Many people attempting to tune into Northwestern football last Saturday had the experience of watching Mack Brown make the exact face of an alderman who has returned home to see that the FBI is...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Well This Doesn't Bode Well
It looks like it may be another one of Those Seasons. Northwestern followed a Big Ten West winning season in 2018 with a three-win campaign in 2019, and the 2020 season seems to be headed toward that...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Unfathomable Sadness of the Possibility That Northwestern Could Lose to...
It saddens me to come to understand that Northwestern can clobber a struggling MAC team, to shut them out until a meaningless touchdown on the final play of the game against an empty bench, and to run...
View ArticleClik here to view.
It's Time to Stare Into the Bleak Abyss and Realize Northwestern Could Lose...
There comes a time in every person’s life when they must surrender to the darkness, stare into the abyss, and come to the realization that the football team they root for could lose to Rutgers. Rutgers...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Northwestern Triumphs in Perverse Game Broadcast From Mars
Years of cable market-cobbling and conference-mongering got us here: an 11AM game between Rutgers and Northwestern in front of 85 people that featured 16 punts and two missed field goals that...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Northwestern Football Makes Sense (In a Losing Effort)
After a miserable early season featuring embarrassing blowout losses where the defense appears to have spent much of its time responsibly socially distancing themselves from opposing running backs,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Northwestern Enters its Werner Herzog Documentary Phase
Last week, this blog had suggested that Northwestern had improved its defensive woes enough to stick close enough to Big Ten West team and then spent sixty minutes getting thrown in a trash compactor...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Wretched Agony of Watching Northwestern Games When You Can Just Google...
If you, like me, consume most of your football via DVR, there comes a time when you are watching your team slowly lose in a game that appears to have been projectile vomited by Matt Millen onto the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Somehow A Northwestern-Purdue Game is the Least Embarrassing Wrigley Field...
At this point, I think it is fair to say that there is significant overlap between this blog and Northwestern’s football season in that the first question anyone would ask when encountering it is “why...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Sad Cat Hat Chat
The last Illinois coach to win the fabled Hat trophy was literally Tim Beckman, the state's most prominent doofus-coach. Beckman did a heroic service to this particular blog as the first person I am...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Bulls Fans Have Been Waiting Nearly 25 Years For A Guy To Do Turnaround...
Every time DeMar DeRozan goes to the line in the United Center, he is serenaded with MVP chants. Certain NBA numbers-mongers would say that he has virtually no chance of winning, towered over by...
View ArticleClik here to view.
An Incompleat Taxonomy of March Madess Characters
Every single year I watch less and less college basketball and know fewer and fewer players on any of the teams and think I could not possibly care about the NCAA Tournament and then I watch a few...
View ArticleClik here to view.
An Aesthetic Review of Baseball in 2022
Major League Baseball gets stereotyped as a slow, hidebound organization bound up in its own tradition and high on its own bow tie colunmist-addled romance, but the signature element of Rob Manfred’s...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Twilight of the Crusty Old Pain-In-The-Ass Baseball Manager
If you're going to do some disastrous, avant-garde baseball managing, it is probably best not to do it during a day game against one of the best teams in the league. Not for Tony La Russa. It's smack...
View ArticleClik here to view.
WELCOME TO THE ENORMOUS TEN
There is usually a process to conference expansion that starts with rumors, innuendo, denials, and eventually leaked negotiations but instead, moving with a speed and coordination unheard of at...
View ArticleBaseball Maudlin Sentimentality Check-In
Willson Contreras was not supposed to be here. It was a Friday day game at Wrigley Field in the late summer, late in the game with the shadows ominously creeping up to the batter’s box and the three...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Football on TV
Picture a college football game: it’s a kaleidoscope of light and sound, of organized bellowing, of overwhelmingly blaring music that is one of the three types of music that are allowed to be played at...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A Deranged Annual Blarney Stone Fight
nebraska joining the big ten expecting to mix it up in the title game against ohio state every year and then finding themselves playing in a deranged annual rock fight against northwestern is one of...
View Article