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BYCTOM 100*: Lenny Harris
The Major Leagues will not be generating any new baseball for some time, which makes this an appropriate time to dip into Important Baseball Lore. The most indispensable baseball writing this...
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BYCTOM 100*: Micah Owings
The Major Leagues will not be generating any new baseball for some time, which makes this an appropriate time to dip into Important Baseball Lore. The most indispensable baseball writing this...
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A Review of GarPax's Most Infernal Intrigues and Bone-Crunching Physical...
Sports may be shut down, arenas may be empty, and the entire world might be on quarantine, but that will not stop the intrigue gears from spinning at Bulls Headquarters. One of the only meaningful...
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The NFL Draft Reaches Its Deranged Apotheosis in Roger Goodell's Rumpus Room
The NFL Draft is already the most absurd spectacle on television, a slurry of brands and military hardware and grim self-serious analysts solemnly intoning that a player has tremendous instincts and...
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Basketball player DESTROYS the New York Knicks for Ten Hours
There is no universe where a Michael Jordan documentary can provide a searching, searing take on the Legend of Michael Jordan that involves the participation of Jordan and his various representatives...
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The NBA "Bubble" Is Making Me Feel Genuinely Insane
Over the past several months we have all witnessed a daily barrage of surreal, maddening images of what the television commercials tell us are These Uncertain Times and in the grand scheme of things...
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The NBA Announces Plans to Do a Fitzcarraldo
There is a scene in the documentary Burden of Dreams where Werner Herzog is discussing with a safety expert his plan to physically drag a boat over a mountain using a series of cables in a stunt meant...
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It's Over, We're Cyberpunk Now: A Review of Baseball's Opening Weekend
Heading into Spring Training, baseball had been afflicted by the low-grade malaise that has been seeping into the sport for the past few years: there was the lingering Houston Astros sign-stealing...
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They Finally Found a Way to Stop Northwestern From Playing Football
One of the major issues with Big Ten football for the past several years has been the existence of Northwestern and the team's insistence on playing football. The team invades other stadiums and...
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I am not a Sadist but Clayton Kershaw Getting Lit Up in the Playoffs is...
There is a certain way that Joe Buck says the words “and taking the mound for the Dodgers, Clayton Kershaw” joebuckishly that has become one of the most eerie sounds in baseball, a chilling declaration...
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Oh No Northwestern is Playing Football Again
The Big Ten returns to footballIt is clear now that nothing, not outbreaks or worrying health effects or even complete team shutdowns could stop sports from coming back at full force in America. The...
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The Big Ten Copes with Its Disaster Scenario (3-0 Northwestern)
The college football conferences have heedlessly decided to go through with football despite a pandemic that has never been even close to under control, teams figured that they could invent fantastical...
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ESPN Has Been Very Unfair To Me About the Rece Davises
It takes a certain kind of courage to look at the state of college football, which is hanging on a thread as every team rotates turning their teams into mobile disease distribution units, and stand in...
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Masque of the Red Hat
In the past weeks, Pat Fitzgerald strutted around screaming the team's new motto of "how dare you call us Rece Davises," then Northwestern ate shit to a bad Michigan State team, claimed the Big Ten...
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A Football Apocalypse During a Regular Apocalypse
This Saturday, Northwestern meets Ohio State in Indianapolis as a necessary blood sacrifice so that the Buckeyes get to go to the Playoff and Big Ten officials can go light up some cigars and...
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By Defeating Me In This Title Game, You Have Proven My Point
No one expected Northwestern to actually win the Big Ten Championship last Saturday, but I would argue that the Wildcats managed to win the aesthetic battle by turning the entire thing into a grim,...
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The Trades
Professional sports leagues exist mainly in transactions now. The NBA’s star reporters are not hard-bitten beat reporters doggedly pursuing leads to confirm whether athletes are taking it one game at a...
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The Strangest Thing About the 2021 NFL Draft Was the Prominence of...
Last year’s NFL draft appeared at an odd stage of the pandemic, just about a month after states had issued stay-home orders and while people were eyeing toilet paper stockpiles with the look of a Max...
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To Save Baseball, MLB Should Legalize Can Bangs
The Pittsburgh Pirates started their stalwart first baseman Kevin Young 125 times in 2001. Young, a Pirate since 1992 save a one-season dalliance with Kansas City in 1996, was now a grizzled 32 years...
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Baseball Botches Cheating Scandal By Not Calling it "Glue-Doping"
For my money, the most enjoyable cheating scandal in any sport is when a professional cyclist is caught using a motor secreted into a bicycle. That is an incredibly brazen way to cheat. It is cartoon...
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