Good Gravy, Northwestern Football is Almost Here
We've had nearly nine months to forget about last season, a season of promise and preseason rankings, a season of winning amongst allegations of fake injury skullduggery, a season of making fun of P.J....
View ArticleBear Attacks
College football has returned! The Wildcats will take the field this weekend in a rematch against Cal played at time when events actually start that don’t take place at Studio 54. Once again, a small...
View ArticleLet's All Freak Out About Football
At one point in the second quarter, Northwestern had shown signs of life as Cameron Dickerson scampered into the endzone. A despondent Ryan Field woke up. The band struck up a chorus of Go U, the Cal...
View ArticleTREMBLE, BIG TEN
The Northwestern "Wildcat" Football team has won a game. Tremble, Big Ten! After two disappointing losses, the 'Cats have taken on a team from the mighty Missouri Valley Conference and triumphed,...
View ArticleTremble Big Ten, Unironically
These were the facts heading into Saturday's contest in Happy Valley: Northwestern would be playing at Penn State's homecoming (Northwestern is a perennial Homecoming Opponent, forever treated by the...
View ArticleInvincible Fortress Evanston
As the clock approached midnight on December 31, 1999, there were three types of people: those celebrating the end of the twentieth century, those huffily refusing to celebrate for another year making...
View ArticleIt Has Been Zero Years since Northwestern Last Won a Bowl Game
Sometimes, you win football games. Sometimes, you lose football games. And sometimes, you eradicate a bowl drought nearly old enough to qualify for social security by jubilantly tearing a stuffed...
View ArticleYOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE FROM THE FOURTH QUARTER
This is Master of Horror Svengoolany bringing you to the depths of terror every Saturday with the most frightening programming imaginable: Big Ten Football. Tremble at fumbles. Cringe at special...
View ArticleThe Huskening now with BYCTOM NBA Preview
At halftime, Northwestern held a 17-14 edge. The defense had managed to keep all-everything running back Ameer Abdullah largely in check. Justin Jackson was slithering around defenders and smashing...
View ArticleThe Season's Not Over Until You Pry a Hat From My Cold, Dead, Head
Well, shit.If you, like me, measure the relative success of Northwestern seasons by a berth in a much-ridiculed and ignored bowl game, then the season is likely over. If you enjoy college football as...
View ArticleNotre-Dame: This is Northwestern Football
Turn up the Coolio, put up your Jud Buechler posters, and hang with Mr. Cooper. Northwestern has gone back into South Bend and improbably beaten the Notre Dame Fighting Irish nineteen years after...
View ArticleThe Least Northwestern of Games
Last Saturday, the 'Cats opened the season at Ryan Field by hosting out-of-conference nemesis Syracuse. The 'Cats hoped to improve on their first game with the comforts of home: a reasonable time slot...
View ArticleHATURDAY HATPOCALYPSE HAT GAME BOWL GAME HAT
It is here.Which team will qualify for a virtually non-existent bowl game in Detroit or somewhere spiritually aligned with the concept of a Detroit bowl game ? Which team can persevere in the face of...
View ArticleRemember the Maine
A week after routing Syracuse, the Western Michigan Broncos rowed into Ryan Field and gave the 'Cats a first-quarter scare. The offense stagnated and the defense yielded large chunks of yards to a...
View ArticleCubs Baseball Returns to Make You Miserable
It is April and the Chicago Cubs will begin playing baseball in order to cause misery and despair to legions of beer-swilling mustachioed mustard monsters. For several years, the Cubs have been...
View ArticleBYCTOM Investigates!
Playoffs are exciting, championships are thrilling, but sports leagues across America and the globe know that nothing is more gripping than investigations bearing reports spanning hundreds of pages,...
View ArticleThis Post Was Hacked
The sports calendar has climaxed this week, with the NBA and NHL crowning new champions, American Hero Abby Wambach cowing foreigners with the Forehead of Freedom, and the Chicago Cubs contending for a...
View ArticleTelevised List-Reading
The National Basketball Association has just capped off its five hour list-reading extravaganza in Brooklyn. The NBA draft has everything a person wants on television: garish suits, extended shots of...
View ArticleWords, Words About Sports
The Cubs have made it to late July and they have managed to go through nearly 60% of a baseball season without dissolving into a Cubbish morass of ineptitude. They have hit baseballs in the right...
View ArticleMedia Day
We are nearing August, when football training camp begins in earnest and the Wildcats begin the 2015 season, or as I call it, HATRIBUTION '15. This week, Big Ten coaches will meet with the media to...
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