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HELL YEAH I'M GOING TO PANIC ABOUT THE CUBS WHY NOT
The Chicago Cubs, the Reigning Champions of Baseball, have returned this season and they are floundering. They are under .500, in third place in baseball's most putrid division. They have just dropped...
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The Inevitable, Ignominious End of the Three Alphas
Lost in all of the losses, the roster upheavals, the endless disinformation campaigns, and the instagram recriminations, there was a cold comfort to the Three Alphas era of Chicago Bulls basketball....
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On Dreams and Heads
The Crosstown Cup is in full sway, delighting Chicago's fans of interleague baseball and extremely nasal arguments that end with the brandishing of switchblade sausages. There's even more underlying...
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Football Flim-Flammery
College football is coming back and at some point some sorry team is going to be swindled, bamboozled, flim-flammed because their opponent is doing something they’re not supposed to and football is the...
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Portents and Signs
There is no shortage of radio callers and message board maniacs that would take a 7-6 football season and berth in the NCAA Men’s Tournament as an invitation to launch an entire wing of prop planes...
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Northwestern and Duke Face Off Again, I Guess
Football returned to Ryan Field in a fanfare of bands, pyrotechnics, parachutists, and the one red firework they shoot off when they get to the rocket's red glare part of the anthem that always looks...
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THE ARCH-DUKE
Northwestern survived a shaky opening game and went to Durham to prove that they would not repeat last year's out of conference nightmare that changed season from one where they hoped to compete for a...
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Northwestern Reduces MAC Team to Subatomic Football Particles
Northwestern faced down a nailbiter against Nevada and suffered a humiliating blowout against their equally historically inept ACC Doppelgangers Duke, and then in the middle of the first quarter the...
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The Gauntlet
Northwestern held the lead at halftime. They came into a hostile and raucous Camp Randall as heavy underdogs and managed to keep Wisconsin's offense and Alex Hornibrook in check mainly because the...
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The Narrative
James Franklin has finally done it. After losing to Northwestern at Vanderbilt, canceling a game against the Wildcats by ordering a specially designed goblet that said "home and home series against...
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Undefeated All-Time Against Maryland
After back-to-back neck wringings at the hands of the Big Ten's top teams, Northwestern finally had a chance to test its mettle against a Big Ten team that will be scrapping around with them for a...
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IOWA AND NORTHWESTERN FIGHT TO THE DEATH OF FOOTBALL
Whatever it is Northwestern and Iowa do, it is not playing football. It would be more accurate to say that the Big Ten continuously allows them to commit football against each other, the Greater...
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EXTRA FOOTBALL
Maybe they should just skip straight to overtime, the pulse-pounding, heart-stopping, thrust and riposte style of maniac football instead of requiring us to sit through an entire Northwestern football...
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VICTORY RIGHT AFTER THIS GAME GOES TO OVERTIME
We live in overtime now. The strictures of regulation football no longer exist to constrain the Northwestern Wildcats; they start now at the 25 yardline, the clock no longer moves, there is no longer...
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A Win Streak
After 15 minutes of game time or approximately Lawrence of Arabia in real time, neither Purdue nor Northwestern had scored. It was a cold, endless, inexplicable night game so perfunctory that...
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BOAT RACED
Northwestern has won now won six consecutive games, a rare feat not accomplished in more than 20 years by going repeatedly to overtime, outlasting coaches and adventure quarterbacks and receivers whose...
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ILLINOIS/NORTHWESTERN RECAP
I.There was nothing at stake beyond the Hat in this game. Northwestern had already locked up a mid-tier bowl, cemented its best winning streak in decades with a preposterous series of overtime wins...
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THE NBA DRAFT LOTTERY IS A ROTTEN SCAM PREVENTING ME FROM ENJOYING THIS...
The Chicago Bulls, a collection of castoffs, incompetents, and basketball players recruited from postapocalyptic mutant wastelands, have won six games in a row. They are undefeated since the return of...
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The Decadent, Inferior Wild Cat
We're in the middle of Bowl Season as dozens of fans trek out to a series of impossible and ridiculous locations to watch their teams battle the dregs of the Sun Belt under the watchful eye of sponsors...
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Music City Bowl Review: Pre-Overtime
“I think the kids wanted to go for it. They wanted to try and win it and I don’t fault the effort at all…They deserved the opportunity to have it in their hands,” is what Kentucky's Athletic Director...
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